


My Baby Just Cares For Me

by HartKins



Category: Holby City
Genre: 5+1 Things, AU, Berena Secret Santa, F/F, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 15:23:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartKins/pseuds/HartKins
Summary: 5 times Bernie & Serena cared for each other and 1 time they didn’tBerena Secret Santa 2018





	My Baby Just Cares For Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wonderwanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderwanda/gifts).



> For my giftee, wonderwanda

**i.**

Serena had come down with a cold yesterday. Bernie thinks she caught it from Guinevere’s slobbery kiss the other day. They offered to watch Gwen for the day to give Jason & Greta a bit of a break. The baby wasn’t feeling well and was up the night before, exhausting her parents. As they were all leaving, she insisted on giving her Great Aunties a kiss on the way out. Bernie was smart enough to turn her head right as Guinevere leaned in, planting the kiss on her cheek, wiping the slobber off as soon as possible. Serena loved receiving baby kisses so she didn’t mind if it was on the lips, now she’s paying the consequences.

Bernie set her alarm on her Fitbit instead of her phone so it wouldn’t wake Serena. When she shut it off(she was never one to snooze alarms) she rolled over and saw Serena sound asleep, snoring audibly. She just stared at her in awe, amazed that this was her life now. Three years ago, while in the Army, she could see herself touring well into her 60s or 70s. Now, as she laid in bed next to the woman she loved, she would never go back, not for anything, if it meant leaving Serena all alone.

Bernie got out of bed quietly and went downstairs to make some coffee and get a start on breakfast. If Serena was to get better quickly, she needed nourishment and plenty of fluids. Bernie wouldn’t call herself a chef, but she could get around in the kitchen, she was able to keep her kids and their father alive when she was home between tours. She’s been told her specialty was meatloaf with cheesy mashed potatoes and garlic green beans, something that her kids & Serena had all agreed on one evening when they invited Cameron & Charlotte over for dinner.

Breakfast, however, was a different story. Bernie decided to keep it simple and made something easy for Serena to eat, assuming she would be hungry when she woke up. Bernie whipped up a big pot of scrambled eggs, she could have finished half of it herself, eggs being one of her favorite dishes. She also decided to make some toast and oatmeal, in case the eggs were too much for Serena.

After making coffee for herself and a hot tea with honey for Serena, she put everything on a tray and carefully walked back to the bedroom and sat the tray down on the dresser before climbing back into bed. She shuffled closer to Serena and gently kissed her cheek, frowning when she noticed it felt warmer than usual.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” Bernie asked when Serena opened her eyes.

“Like my face is gonna explode,” Serena replied, clearly sounding stuffed up.

“I’ve got some hot tea here for you, and some food, if you’re hungry,” Bernie said as she got up to grab the tray. She set it down on the bed and carefully climbed back in. “Anything look appetizing?” She asked as she handed Serena the hot mug.

“The oatmeal does,” Serena said as she sat the mug on her night table and started to reach for the bowl.

“Nope, I’m feeding it to you.” Bernie lightly slapped Serena’s hand and grabbed the spoon, stirring it a bit.

“Bernie, I’m sick, not paralyzed. I can feed myself.” Serena looked at her sternly.

“I know, but I love you and I want to take  **care** of you.” Bernie smiled as she got a spoonful and put it up to Serena’s lips. With her other hand, she took her fork and stabbed the eggs a couple times before putting them into her mouth.

Today was going to be spent with Serena and it was going to be great.

**ii.**

“NO! NO, IT CAN’T BE! OH GOD! SERENA!” Bernie suddenly screamed in the middle of a cold night in December.

“Bernie? Bernie’s what’s wrong?” Serena gasped. When Bernie continued to scream and cry, she moved closer to her and rubbed her arm gently to wake her up. “It’s okay, Bernie. You’re okay. I’m here,” Serena whispered with tears in her eyes, waiting for Bernie to stop.

This wasn’t the first time Bernie has had a nightmare. Not long after joining the army, she started getting nightmares. Whenever she got them, she would scream in her sleep while tossing and turning. She desperately sought comfort every time she woke from them but Marcus wouldn’t give in, sometimes he would shake her and tell her to shut up before falling back asleep. The nightmares made Bernie feel like she was broken, but she never did anything about it.

Serena had witnessed them several times since they started sharing a bed, but this was the worst one she had seen.

“Serena. Oh my god, you’re okay,” Bernie gasped as she flung herself towards Serena and wrapped her arms around her tightly, her breathing was ragged. “That was such a horrible one, Serena,” Bernie cried into the crook of Serena’s neck.

“Shhhh. You’re okay. I’m here, Bernie. Do you want to talk about it?” Serena twirled Bernie’s hair around her fingers to try to calm her down.

“I was doing an appendectomy, a simple procedure, and the patient had flatlined and I glanced over and it was you. I was just so scared because I was out in the middle of the desert and there you were. I don’t know what you were doing there but it didn’t look good,” Bernie said, tears forming in her eyes at the thought of having to operate on Serena and having something go wrong.

“Oh, darling.” Serena pulled Bernie in tighter. “I’m right here and I’m okay.” She rocked her gently until she fell back asleep.

This was her life now, she was going to take  **care** of Bernie, help her through her nightmares and whatever else life threw at them. No matter how dark her dreams became, she'd be right by her side, reassuring her everything is fine now. Everything is calm. It may be trying at times, but she loved her life and she wouldn’t change a thing.

**iii.**

It was 3 in the morning when Bernie woke up to use the bathroom. She had just finished washing her hands when she took a quick glance at the full trash bin next to the sink and realized she & Serena forgot to take the bins out before going to bed.

She grabbed the bin and walked quietly out of the bathroom and grabbed her robe before heading towards the kitchen.

She walked into the kitchen and dumped the small bin of garbage into the one next to the island before pulling the entire bag out and tying it then carrying it to the front door. Unfortunately, the only footwear she could find that would fit was a pair of knitted tank engine slippers that Jason had gotten her a couple months ago. He found them at a craft shop and said they were from Guinevere as a ‘thank you for being her Great Auntie Major Bernie.’ She slipped them on and opened the door, shivering immediately as the freezing cold air hit her. She plopped it inside the big bin by the door before pulling it to the curb.

Bernie climbed back into bed and snuggled closer to Serena to warm up, kissing her lips softly when Serena turned to face her.

“Bloody hell, you’re cold!” Serena gasped, her voice thick with sleep, suddenly waking up when Bernie wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in closer.

“Sorry. I was just outside. We forgot to take the bins out last night,” Bernie chuckled as she thought back to the night before. They both had too much to drink and one thing led to another and they were soon tucked up in bed, completely spent, and had no thought of getting up for anything.

“Oh Bernie, you didn’t have to, I could’ve done that,” Serena said. She knew taking the bins out was Bernie’s least favorite thing to do.

“It’s okay, I wanted to do it.” Bernie smiled into Serena’s neck. “I could’ve done without the tank engine slippers, no insulation whatsoever, but they were all I could find in the dark.” Bernie groaned as she could barely feel her toes.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.” Serena tried to stifle her laugh. She pictured Bernie in her robe with the silly, but very thoughtful slippers on and trudging down the walkway in the middle of the night. “You should’ve woke me up. I would’ve been thrilled to watch you do that.” Serena laughed.

“Okay, that’s enough out of you!” Bernie pressed her lips to Serena’s to silence her.

“But seriously, Bernie, you didn’t have to do that,” Serena said as they pulled away seconds later.

“It’s okay. It really wasn’t that bad. Now, can we go back to sleep, please?” Bernie pecked Serena’s lips one more time before shifting to get comfortable, her arm still wrapped around Serena.

“Of course. I love you so much, Bernie.” Serena kissed the top of Bernie’s head before getting comfy herself.

“I love you too, Serena,” Bernie mumbled, already starting to drift off again.

Bernie loved Serena with all her heart, she was going to take  **care** of her, do whatever silly little things that made her happy because that’s what Serena deserved.

**iv.**

A Sunday morning found Serena making the bed while Bernie was in the shower. She noticed that she was taking a little longer than usual and decided to go find out why. She slipped her pajamas off in the bedroom and walked quietly into the en-suite bathroom and shut the door.

“Need some help?” Serena asked as she snuck into the back of the shower just as Bernie was trying to wash her hair. Years performing delicate procedures caused her to develop carpal tunnel, and occasionally it would hurt so bad that doing simple tasks such as washing her hair was impossible.

“Yes, please.” Bernie sighed. She wasn’t one to ask for help and Serena knew that and she would see the hesitation on Bernie’s face and would know to do the asking.

Serena reached around Bernie and got her hands wet before grabbing the shampoo from the back of the shower and lathering her hands up and threading them through Bernie’s slightly soapy hair. She massaged Bernie’s scalp while lifting her hair up and pressed gentle kisses to her neck. Bernie moaned at the sensations.

After Serena finished her ministrations, she turned Bernie around and helped her rinse the soap out before she grabbed the conditioner and repeated the process.

“All clean,” Serena smiled and pressed a kiss to Bernie’s cheek after the conditioner was rinsed out.

“Thanks,” Bernie said as she wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her in closer as she kissed her lips.

“Of course, darling. That’s why I’m here, to take  **care** of you,” Serena smiled. “And to do this,” She said as her hand moved up to cup Bernie’s breast, glistening with water, and brushed her thumb over the nipple.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Bernie gasped and tilted her head back towards the water.

“Okay, finish up in here and meet me in the bedroom,” Serena winked as she grabbed Bernie’s bum and squeezed it before getting out and drying off.

What Bernie did to deserve someone as loving and caring as Serena, she had no idea.

**v.**

“Off,” Bernie mumbled against Serena’s lips as she pulled the thin straps of Serena’s dress off her shoulders. Serena reached around herself and undid the zip and stepped out of it once it hit the floor.

Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and lifted her up, Serena wrapping her legs tightly around Bernie as she carried her to the bedroom.

Once inside the bedroom, Bernie sat Serena on the bed and leaned down to press kisses to her neck as she removed her bra. She then grasped the waistband of Serena’s underwear and pulled them down and off her legs.

As Serena moved up the bed, Bernie quickly removed all her clothing before climbing on the bed and straddling Serena’s legs.

She kissed Serena’s lips hard as her one of her hands explored the body beneath her. She fondled each of her breasts and tweaked the nipples as it made its way down to the wiry curls.

“Please,” Serena gasped when Bernie was hovering above her clit.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you,” Bernie moaned into her neck. She bent down to take an erect nipple into her mouth at the same moment she plunged 2 fingers into her core. Serena arched her entire body and immediately started to thrust her hips down to try to get Bernie’s fingers deeper inside.

Bernie could sense Serena was seconds away from orgasm so she stopped all movements and quickly shimmied down Serena’s legs, spreading them wide, and pressed her tongue to her clit while pushing her fingers back inside and reaching for her g spot.

“Bernie!” Serena screamed into the room as her orgasm hit hard.

Bernie climbed back up and laid next to Serena as she recovered. She waited about a minute before she pressed her fingers back onto Serena’s clit and rubbed it slowly, coaxing a softer orgasm out of her. Serena soon pushed her hand away when it became too much.

“Did you enjoy that, Serena?” Bernie asked as she pressed soft kisses to Serena’s cheek.

“I did. You’re so good to me, Bernie. Thank you,” Serena turned and smiled at her and kissed her lips.

“Of course. I’m just taking  **care** of the woman I love,” Bernie smiled as she wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her in for a hug.

**I.**

The day Bernie returned from Kiev, she kissed Serena and fled again. She ended up in Latvia this time per request of her commanding officer. The Trauma Bay in Riga was understaffed and needed more medics that were trained to do trauma, he thought Major Wolfe would be the perfect addition. He hoped she would take control and whip everyone into shape, and she did just that.

Bernie thought about emailing Serena, to tell her that she meant every word she said in the office, but she needed to figure out what all of it meant. When she told Serena all those things, she didn’t expect to feel Serena’s lips pressed against hers. With the all the radio silence, she expected Serena to shrug her off and move on to someone else.

6 weeks into her new job, she got a call from Ric. He asked her if she had a minute to talk, she knew from just that question that things weren’t okay. When he told her that Elinor had died, she sobbed. She sobbed not only for Serena but for herself. Tears of anger burned her skin as she thought of Serena being all alone. She should’ve been there, with Serena. Instead, she was 1,500 miles away while the love of her life was grieving the loss of her only child.

She tried everything to get in contact with Serena, emailing, texting, calling, but she didn’t get a response. It was her turn with the radio silence, understandably. She messaged Jason to make sure Serena was at least breathing, to which she was relieved when Jason answered back. She could trust him to keep in contact, they had things in common and he looked up to her.

It wasn’t until a month after Elinor’s passing that she was able to go back to Holby, for good. She told her commanding officer a week after getting the call from Ric that, “the love of my life has just lost her only child and I need to be there for her.” She shed a lot of tears in the meantime, going back and forth from being in love with Serena and wanting to support her, to thinking Serena deserved support from someone that wasn’t so emotionally unstable. In the end, she wanted Serena and nobody else.

Serena found out Bernie was coming home from Jason. She made sure he told Bernie that she was unable to pick her up at the airport because she knew that the second she saw her, she would burst into tears and she didn’t want airport strangers to witness it. Bernie was fine with it and got a cab.

As she walked onto AAU, she stopped at the nurses station and asked where Serena was, receiving fingers pointing to the office. When she approached the door, she heard quiet whimpering. She gently knocked and waited for a response.

When she didn’t hear a signal to come in, she opened the door. The second she opened it, tears formed in her eyes at the sight of Serena. She was sitting at her desk, her head leaned back against the chair as she clutched something to her chest, Bernie’s guess was a picture of Elinor. She could still hear the whimpering coming from her lips.

“Serena,” Bernie whispered as she shut the door quietly and walked slowly over to her.

“Bernie,” Serena sobbed as she stood up and hugged Bernie so hard, she thought she was suffocating her. Bernie hugged her back and let her sob into her shoulder as long as she needed to.

When 2 minutes had passed and Serena was on the cusp of hyperventilating, Bernie walked them backward and sat on one of the chairs by the window and pulled Serena onto her lap and rocked her gently, trying to calm her down and get her breathing back.

It was a good 5 minutes after they had sat down when Serena took a deep breath and pulled her head from the crook of Bernie’s, now, tear-soaked neck.

“I’m so sorry, Serena. I’m so so sorry,” Bernie said as she looked into Serena’s blood-shot eyes. “I’m sorry for everything.” There’s a beat. “I’m sorry for running away. I’m sorry for Elinor, and I’m sorry for not being here to comfort you,” she said as she ran her hand up and down Serena’s back soothingly.

“You don’t have to apologize, Bernie. You were busy with your work and helping people,” Serena said quietly, the effects of crying taking its toll on her voice.

“I know, but I should’ve been here. I should’ve been here the whole time to take  **care** of you, and I wasn’t. I failed you, I failed myself. I’m so sorry.” Bernie could feel the tears creeping back into her eyes, so she blinked them away quickly.

“I’m sorry, too. I should’ve been the one to call you, not Ric.” Serena was running her fingers through Bernie’s curls to keep her tears at bay.

“You were grieving, Serena. I understand,” Bernie cut in.

“A month after you left, I finally came to the conclusion that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I had plans to come and find you and bring you back home. I was going to take  **care** of you, and we were going to be together forever. Then everything with Elinor happened and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even talk to you or think about being happy with you when I just lost my daughter.” She started to whimper a bit but was able to control herself.

“I love you, Serena. I know I’ve never said it before, but I do. I love you so much.” Bernie leaned forward and kissed Serena’s lips lightly. “I’m here now, forever. If that’s what you want?” She didn’t want to pressure Serena into anything, but she wanted to make sure she knew how she felt.

“I love you too, Bernie. I want you here forever. I don’t think I could imagine my life without you and I don’t want to.” Serena kissed Bernie hard on the lips while threading her fingers through her hair and pulling her close, much like she did the day Bernie came back from Kiev.

Life was going to be tough, obviously, but they were going to get through it together. They were going to take  **care**  of each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was okay!
> 
> It was a rush job because I'm really good at procrastinating.....but I'm happy with how it turned out!


End file.
